Dear Enjay,
There is no better way to tell you this, but am convinced that my Boyfriend of a year plus has lost interest in me. I am heartbroken! Worst is that he pretends not to notice any change. What do I do?
Dearest,
There is nothing worse than when your friend whom you truly love, loses interest in you. Even if you didn’t truly love him and he behaves in a way that suggests he is losing interest in you, you will feel terribly bad. But what have you done since you noticed this attitude of his? Have you tried talking to him? He may be going through some difficult moments. depending on the type of person he is, he may either need your understanding and company or may need a little time to sort himself out. Whichever one is the case here, sit down and talk with him. But if he is gradually losing interest in you, you need to overcome your emotions and find out. It becomes worse when he is actually losing interest in you and you continue to try harder to make it work.
If he is actually losing interest in you and you continue to try even harder, like being more attentive, texting and calling him more and so on, these usually makes them run away from you even faster. At your age, you don’t have to go through this. In fact, you can be the one to pull out before him.
Honestly, you don’t have to wait for him to end it, you know how you would feel? Dumped! and this could be humiliating. However, sometimes it can be difficult to know if he doesn’t like you anymore. Here are some other clear signs.
He doesn’t reply to your texts. This may be the first sign and one of the signs you need to watch out for. Ok, let’s assume he is busy with work or with friends. He could be excused for some time but when he does this for a couple of days, it’s a clear sign he is losing interest in you.
Or when he does, it is one-worded reply. Or something like K, LOL, YES or NO. He doesn’t just have your time all of a sudden and hasn’t any excuses or tangible excuses for that.
He misses going out with you. You were supposed to go out together for something or to a place, he misses it but he never messaged you. He couldn’t even show remorse for doing that. He gives a flimsy excuse why he did not turn up. It didn’t just end there, he repeated it.
He doesn’t care. He used to be interested in your wellbeing, your studies and generally, things about you. You find all that missing. He gives excuses on why he can’t do all that. He hardly sends messages to you even. Remember, this is not because he is busy or is engaged with work.
Suddenly, he is no longer jealous. You know? Men are naturally jealous, especially when it concerns a woman they love so much. But when suddenly, you see that lacking in him, it may be a pointer to the fact that he is losing interest in you. You can try this, mention going to see another guy and watch his reaction. Does it make him jealous or he is happy someone else is taking your attention?
He doesn’t update you. When you are in a relationship with someone, it’s normal to tell them about your day and what happened. However, if he stops telling you about his day and the updates going on in his life, (that is if he has been doing so) you are becoming less of an important figure in his life. I know it may be hard to accept, but that’s just the case.
He spends more time on the phone when around you. How does he behave when you are together? Does he give you attention or he is busy doing other things? Or he spends time on the phone, either chatting or talking with someone else. If someone really finds you interesting, they’re not going to be spending time on their phone while around you.
If anything, his phone should be tucked away in his pocket, and he fully invest in your time together. But if he is busy with his phone, then you need to check it.
He talks about other women. Does he talk about other women in front of you? If he does, then he is trying to let you know that he is interested in other women. Unless he is just doing it to make you jealous, but if he’s doing this along other signs I mentioned above, then that’s not the case. He’s trying to let you know he is no longer interested in you.
Physical contact fades away. Do you still remember how he used to cuddle and sit around you when you are together? if he used to have his arms all over you and now he doesn’t, well, that’s a good sign his arms have been around someone else. And that he doesn’t like you anymore. You touch people that you’re attracted to – it’s plain and simple. If he’s not touching you like he used to, he doesn’t like you anymore.
He treats you like a friend. This is the worst one. I mean, if he is still hanging around you but simply stopped being fond of you, it’s painfully obvious that you’ve been friend zoned. I’ve been in this position. What’s worse is that they are not being honest with you and letting you know how they feel. Instead, they know you like them, and they’re ignoring it.
He gets angry at you without reason. Maybe you’re talking to him about somethings that happened, a concern to you or one of your friends, but this isn’t what he wants to hear. Why? Because he doesn’t care and listening to you talk is making him frustrated. Have you ever done something you didn’t want to do? You know the feeling. Well, that’s what he’s feeling.
Your habits annoy him. Oh God! Those habits that he used to find cute, or only mildly annoying, are now the worst thing to enter into his life. He hates how you laugh, and he can’t stand how you walk, he complains about your complexion. Everything about you puts him on edge, and this is because he’s trying to create distance.
He doesn’t comfort you. Usually, when you’re having a bad day or difficulties, he tries to make you feel better. Maybe he will hug you, buy you lunch, or just do something that will help your mood. You know, little things like that. But, if he’s dodging you like a bullet or blatantly doesn’t care, well, then he doesn’t care.
Remember, you need to talk with him. Don’t just talk over the phone, get to sit down and talk with him. Watch his expressions and body language. Above all, if things are not working out well still, then its time to call it a quit.
I wish you Luck
Cheers
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