Straight from The Heart

My Husband is too secretive

Many of us complain that we don’t know what goes on in our husbands’ lives. Or that we live as strangers in same house. It is so shocking how we get to know things that happen around our husbands through other people. This you know could be heart breaking. We see men sometimes as having walls around themselves, they are secretive.

Maybe we are not asking the right questions or
doing the right things? Try these (outlined tips) and see if there will be
changes.

  •  Ask him right questions

So many women don’t show interest in their man. Remember,
men are like babies and would want to be pampered too. They may actually be
waiting for you to show interest in their activities and ask before they open
up.  So, there are just things he may not
want to tell you till you ask. Please, learn to ask the right questions at the
right time too. ‘Are you ok?  How was
your day and the project you are handling? Please, say it and mean it

  • Don’t push it

If you ask him how he is, or about an issue and he is not
keen talking, don’t force him.

Forcing him will make him withdraw. Just allow him but
let him understand that you are part of him and together with him no matter
what he is going through. Just back down and I bet you, he will willingly talk
freely, (knowing the level interest you’ve shown) now he knows you are
interested.

  • Keep his secrets

Men don’t joke with their pride and what makes them men.
If he knows you will discuss his issues outside your home, he will lose that
confidence and won’t confide in you. He would rather be buried with his secrets
than share it with you. A woman who talks uncontrollably is a turn off to a
man. Don’t ever share his personal stuffs with another. He needs to know he can
trust you.

  • Open up to him

It is in the bible to do unto others as you would like
them do unto you. Your husband takes cue from you. Men love to be the hero. If
you open up to him, confide in him, ask him for help, he feels needed and
appreciated; he will eventually open up too.

  • Don’t jump into
    conclusions

A friend of mine once complained that her husband will
always tell her she will not understand,  each time she asks questions. I found out the
woman makes conclusions once the man opens up. Please, when he opens up, don’t
conclude too quickly. Many men keep off telling their woman sensitive stuffs
because she has demonstrated she can’t handle it. She gets worked up, emotional
or irrational.

  • Just keep quiet

Often women love to talk, this interrupts the man when he
is about to talk. Sometimes a man just wants to be listened to.

You don’t even have to give him advice, just listen. You
may wish not to respond or advice just when he finishes. Just allow him,
monitor his mood and when you finally talk to him,

don’t dictate to him what to do. Make suggestions, don’t
treat him like a small boy, journey with him as a King towards finding a
solution.

  • Joke a lot

Don’t be too serious with issues. Create a lively
environment. Make him laugh, be ‘chikky’
and funny. This will make him relax. Go for dates together more, proper dates,
to calm settings, not noisy clubs. If he will not take you out then you take
him out. Those memorable moments will make any hardened heart open up. Once he
has relaxed, he will open up about deep matters.

  • Pray more

You know about this saying, a family that prays together
stays together? Pray, especially with him. Ask him if there are things he wants
you to pray for. Prayer has a way of softening hearts.

  • Eat with him more

Some women have the habit of running off once they drop
food for their hubby. No matter how busy you are, please find time to eat with
your husband. Even when you had eaten, sit beside him and watch him eat. Great
conversations happen over food.

  • Don’t attack his
    friends

We make mistakes of thinking attacks on his friends may
help him cut the relationship, especially when we don’t like them. Be careful,
it backfires most times. Instead, show that you are supportive of his social
life. Rise above his friends, be the bigger person. Show him that you are his closest
ally, his best friend; his friends come after you. And subtly give him reasons
why you dislike any of them and he may see reasons with you.

  • Give him peace

Don’t nag, quarrel or make his time with you
uncomfortable and judgment time. Men avoid complicated environments.  He may even start keeping late nights. Be
careful about the tone of your voice and your facial expression, lest you chase
him away. And don’t accuse him of not opening up to you. The more you complain
how frustrated you are he doesn’t open up to you, the more he will shut you
out.

My Prayer is that
as you read this, God will mend & heal every broken relationship.

Chikezie Ogbonna Administrator
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Chikezie Ogbonna Administrator
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